It's 2:47am and
I can't sleep
Knowing I'm all alone
Without her
In silence
I long for her
In the stillness
I wait for her
Her smooth lips,
Her tender kiss
The joy of being with her,
The sense of belongingness
But to be pulled away from her
--Agonizing thoughts
I'm in solitude
Detached from her loving arms
All alone in this dark night
Defenseless and unarmed
from the dangers of life
Without her
My life is nothing
It's blank
A life without her
is full of pain and misery
Without her
I fall into great sorrow
Tears keep falling down my face
And it won't stop
Knowing she won't be back
Ever
If I can’t die
Then the only thing left to do is live
I can only keep on living
But if I die now
My death will be meaningless
I'll regret it
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Yesterday
I've wasted my last chance
To live
Now I'm here
In my last stand
My last breath
No one could save me
You don't even see I'm missing
So I don't want to care anymore
Because you don't
The only purpose of my life is you
Without your love
I'm dead
I'm an ex-corpse
I was dead even before
Living is no use to me
Yet I am here
Looking at you
In your room
Just staring
Then you start to move
You move with the guy
Beside you
Your lips still like before
I remember
When we were we
Now it seems that it was only yesterday
That we hugged
Now I know
You aren't faithful
You never were
And never will
That's why I ended my horrid life
To see if you saw
What I saw
And you didn't
To live
Now I'm here
In my last stand
My last breath
No one could save me
You don't even see I'm missing
So I don't want to care anymore
Because you don't
The only purpose of my life is you
Without your love
I'm dead
I'm an ex-corpse
I was dead even before
Living is no use to me
Yet I am here
Looking at you
In your room
Just staring
Then you start to move
You move with the guy
Beside you
Your lips still like before
I remember
When we were we
Now it seems that it was only yesterday
That we hugged
Now I know
You aren't faithful
You never were
And never will
That's why I ended my horrid life
To see if you saw
What I saw
And you didn't
In Silence
As the night falls upon my face
I see the curve around the bend
I feel the edge through my fingers
A knife in my hands
Cutting everyone I see
Nothing can stop me from ceasing all their lives
You can do a lot of things
In silence
You can feel more
In silence
I want to kill but I'm ready to die
I can feel those broken shards of glass
beneath me..
Painful,
but I feel more pain inside me
Will I ever heal?
The tears that drown my face
The bleeding cut in my throat
and the constant pain that's aggravating
As I kill
The innocent
I feel good enough
To see their blood that's going out
It's free unlike me
You've been here,
Inside me..
Controlling my every move
For almost a century now
That's why humanity is almost an endangered specie
You are like a rope around my back..
I try to fight back but still...
I hear silent cries
Silent murmurs and gasps for help
A lot are weeping In silence
I see the curve around the bend
I feel the edge through my fingers
A knife in my hands
Cutting everyone I see
Nothing can stop me from ceasing all their lives
You can do a lot of things
In silence
You can feel more
In silence
I want to kill but I'm ready to die
I can feel those broken shards of glass
beneath me..
Painful,
but I feel more pain inside me
Will I ever heal?
The tears that drown my face
The bleeding cut in my throat
and the constant pain that's aggravating
As I kill
The innocent
I feel good enough
To see their blood that's going out
It's free unlike me
You've been here,
Inside me..
Controlling my every move
For almost a century now
That's why humanity is almost an endangered specie
You are like a rope around my back..
I try to fight back but still...
I hear silent cries
Silent murmurs and gasps for help
A lot are weeping In silence
Demon in Me
When I start cutting my own life
I see the damage
Penetrating in my skin
Like a bullet in flesh
Blood starts spraying
from my own body
But I feel good enough
To see the demon inside me..
The full moon is forming
Its brightness lights everything
I now hear the wolf's crying
And I see more red
Everywhere there's
Crimson red
I start to feel joy
Seeing people dying
Seeing people weeping
But I’m terrified
I am now the demon in me
I see the damage
Penetrating in my skin
Like a bullet in flesh
Blood starts spraying
from my own body
But I feel good enough
To see the demon inside me..
The full moon is forming
Its brightness lights everything
I now hear the wolf's crying
And I see more red
Everywhere there's
Crimson red
I start to feel joy
Seeing people dying
Seeing people weeping
But I’m terrified
I am now the demon in me
Realm of Chaos
Grey clouds have mustered over this dark place
Raindrops falling in a faster pace
The ironic heat and the cold air
Fog that's been lingering here for so long
I scream for you
But you refuse to hear
My voice echoing over
the high walls that surround me
Trees silently sway beside me
Thorns growing out of their trunks
Hugging me until I scream no more
For your loveIn the shadows
I silently weep
For something I couldn't get--
Your love
For your heart is as black as mine
Sometimes ending your own life
Isn't the solution to ending your misery
But it could be an opportunity
to start life over again
In the next lifetime
I could kill and take your life
So you would come and sleep with me
I could cry and weep again
And be in sorrow
But I choose to take your life
To be with you
Raindrops falling in a faster pace
The ironic heat and the cold air
Fog that's been lingering here for so long
I scream for you
But you refuse to hear
My voice echoing over
the high walls that surround me
Trees silently sway beside me
Thorns growing out of their trunks
Hugging me until I scream no more
For your loveIn the shadows
I silently weep
For something I couldn't get--
Your love
For your heart is as black as mine
Sometimes ending your own life
Isn't the solution to ending your misery
But it could be an opportunity
to start life over again
In the next lifetime
I could kill and take your life
So you would come and sleep with me
I could cry and weep again
And be in sorrow
But I choose to take your life
To be with you
My Life Ends Here
I've been living for so long
That I haven't been able to count
--the years I've spent in this world
Many countless nights I prayed
For a miracle to happen
My tears filled with guilt and sorrow
And I want my life to end
To stop the pain inside me
Sometimes,
I spend all of my time
Trying to cut the veins in my wrist
But I fear that I'll see no light
And see only darkness
That fear prevents me
--from doing the best decision I could ever do
All of my hate pounding inside my bloody heart
The blood has flown out of my weak body
And is making it's way out in the open
To be free…
That I haven't been able to count
--the years I've spent in this world
Many countless nights I prayed
For a miracle to happen
My tears filled with guilt and sorrow
And I want my life to end
To stop the pain inside me
Sometimes,
I spend all of my time
Trying to cut the veins in my wrist
But I fear that I'll see no light
And see only darkness
That fear prevents me
--from doing the best decision I could ever do
All of my hate pounding inside my bloody heart
The blood has flown out of my weak body
And is making it's way out in the open
To be free…
Merciless
I don't care if I die tonight
As long as you'll be by my side
But I died without you caring
My breath ceased with you smiling
The white thread that killed me
Is now covered in red blood
You're laughing like a fool
Merciless
It thought friends were supposed to care
Not take away each other's lives
The sinister look on your face
Doesn't creep me anymore
Your laugh can't put me down no more
I’ll bring you down
The way you brought me down
I’ll kill you brutally
I’ll kill you mercilessly
As long as you'll be by my side
But I died without you caring
My breath ceased with you smiling
The white thread that killed me
Is now covered in red blood
You're laughing like a fool
Merciless
It thought friends were supposed to care
Not take away each other's lives
The sinister look on your face
Doesn't creep me anymore
Your laugh can't put me down no more
I’ll bring you down
The way you brought me down
I’ll kill you brutally
I’ll kill you mercilessly
Chain of Misery
The unrelenting fear in my heart
The awful leash that's hugging me
Isn't it bothering you?
NO, it wouldn't,
because I'm all alone
In this chain of misery
I have no one to talk to but the maggots crawling
Under my bloody feet
They say I'm already decomposing
But I refuse to listen,
I refuse to believe
That I'm dead
I said I could use some company,
but the maggots will be here with me
Forever
In my corpse
Suddenly,
I want to cry
But cannot,
knowing I've been dying,
And will be dying till eternity
My lips form into a smile again
Knowing that death is painless
Since death is what I'm feeling right now
And that it's good....
The awful leash that's hugging me
Isn't it bothering you?
NO, it wouldn't,
because I'm all alone
In this chain of misery
I have no one to talk to but the maggots crawling
Under my bloody feet
They say I'm already decomposing
But I refuse to listen,
I refuse to believe
That I'm dead
I said I could use some company,
but the maggots will be here with me
Forever
In my corpse
Suddenly,
I want to cry
But cannot,
knowing I've been dying,
And will be dying till eternity
My lips form into a smile again
Knowing that death is painless
Since death is what I'm feeling right now
And that it's good....
Hello
Long cold nights have past me..
All of the pressure hammering their way to me..
--to crush me.
I've been long away
From a place I once called home
It's been years since I've said
Hello
All my life
I've been through waves
Through rainy days
So I often ask myself
"Should I end my life now?"
All the years I've wasted
To see you again
But as I enter into your presence
I feel cold air brushing against my bare flesh
And then I see a corpse
Hanging..
I can see the horror in it's face
But I can barely see if it's a male or a female
Seeing it's mouth open wide,
I felt it's pain while it was dying..
So breathless...
Painless..
I wanted myself to die as well
So I said
Hello death
All of the pressure hammering their way to me..
--to crush me.
I've been long away
From a place I once called home
It's been years since I've said
Hello
All my life
I've been through waves
Through rainy days
So I often ask myself
"Should I end my life now?"
All the years I've wasted
To see you again
But as I enter into your presence
I feel cold air brushing against my bare flesh
And then I see a corpse
Hanging..
I can see the horror in it's face
But I can barely see if it's a male or a female
Seeing it's mouth open wide,
I felt it's pain while it was dying..
So breathless...
Painless..
I wanted myself to die as well
So I said
Hello death
Breathless
The slit in my lip is forcing
every blood in my face to drain out
The cut in my neck is deep
I don't think it'll ever heal
From the pain that surrounded it
That's why I'm breathless...
Dying for suicide
I thought I was stronger
Now I've nowhere to hide
No one to run to
Because I thought I'd be free
Without you
I'm lost again
In my own thoughts
I wanted to die
Now I know why I'm breathless
Dying for suicide
I'm hungry for more of your love
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